Some Girls "Heaven's Pregnant Teens" (Epitaph)
By Dave Schutz
Wednesday. Feb 01, 1:40 AM
Lots of bark. Not much bite.

If pedigree didn’t matter, I might have a different opinion of Some Girls. But it does (apparent by the degree to which record labels like to hype it up on press sheets), as well it should: one would hope a group of seasoned vets like this one, most of whom have been spazzing out in San Diego for years, could come up with something more transcendent, especially given their explicit intentions (to “depart from traditional chord changes and time signatures” as well as to “seriously punish people,” according to guitarist Chuck Rowell). Unfortunately, Heaven’s Pregnant Teens does nothing but reinvent the wheel in terms of San Diego hardcore.

I’ll cut some slack for the guys who started the band (Wes Eisold of Give Up The Ghost and Rob Moran of Unbroken) since they’ve at least upped the bar for themselves, but one has to wonder why Justin Pearson would sign on for this project when his previous bands (The Locust, Crimson Curse, Holy Molar, etc.) were at least more innovative or more brutal: sometimes both. There is virtually no new musical ground broken here. Anything that isn’t reliant on the tonality drawn up by Angel Hair/The VSS, Heroin, etc. falls back on Slayer and East Coast hardcore. The same goes for the vocals: while Eisold has a killer knack for alliteration, his meter and imagery are mostly Sonny Kay-via-The Locust (markedly different from his more straightforward writing in Give Up The Ghost).

How about dropping your bullshit expectations for a minute ya asshole?

Point taken. Heaven’s Pregnant Teens definitely offers some gut-punching moments for the un-jaundiced ear (though not the unrelenting shitstorm they’re aiming for). “Ex Nuns/Dead Dogs” bookends a killer quarter-note stomp with some pretty schizophrenic riffing. “Marry Mortuary” is truly brutal: the extra beat tacked on for the end rhyme in the verse is a nice touch. While the closer, “Deathface,” suffers the most from the albums midrange-heavy production, its nine-minute riff (and four-minute “Ape” chant) is gleefully irritating.

Other than those exceptions, I’m too used to this shit to get off on it. Maybe the Epitaph kids will find Heaven’s Pregnant Teens revelatory, but if you’re at all familiar with the style, prepare to be underwhelmed.
www.somegirlshaveallthefuck.com
www.epitaph.com

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Dave Schutz

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