As far as quality is concerned, there is a massive disparity between the first track on The Long Winters’ latest EP and everything that comes after it. After listening to these six songs three times in three different settings (home, car, iPod) I was left completely nonplussed. Is this really the same band throughout? The EP opens with the massive, encompassing, chugging “The Commander Thinks Aloud,” which sounds like a catchy combination of The Flaming Lips (musically) and a happy version of David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” (lyrically) adeptly mashed together. It is an auspicious beginning, but one that ends up having no bearing on what follows. After this track, the whole record disintegrates into a mess of sub-par lyrics and general blandness.

The title track has a well-delivered chorus but the verses are uninspiring. “Everything is Talking” is some sort of bizarre half-jazz mumble with lyrics that seem to be about a new television. I think it’s an attempt to comment on the direction the world is heading, technologically, but it mostly comes across as bizarre and faux-artsy. “Delicate Hands” has good phrasing, but the lyrics just don’t seem to make sense. “I want to feed you / butter-rum candy / but someone beat you / to me.” Perhaps I’m just too dense to actually “get it,” but most of the lyrics on this album sound like some sort of inside joke or personal commentary that the listener isn’t supposed to understand. They seem a bit arbitrary and cryptic at times. It’s as if the band is trying too hard to sound profound and/or artsy, but they don’t succeed at either and the lyrics just come across as gibberish. Bandleader John Roderick croons, “I wanted to feel you / wanting to breathe / and I thought / you wanted to feel like breathing.” The more I think about that, the less it makes sense. The worst song of the bunch, however, is definitely “Bride and Bridle.” The chorus “bride and bridle are too close in a man’s mind / and I know you think my sentence was too light” sounds painfully forced. It’s a live track featuring just Roderick and a guitar, and it sounds like an affected quasi-imitation of Richie Havens’ vocal style, but with none of the impact. What happened to the band that created the first track?

It’s depressing when something starts out so promising completely fails to deliver. One out of six is quite disappointing. That is .167 as a batting average, which is far below the Mendoza Line. If this band could string together a bunch of songs as good as “The Commander Thinks Aloud,” they could be onto something.
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Kyle Wagner

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 Past Constructive Criticism

richard warriner posted the following Constructive Criticism: is rembrant a better painter than paul klee or kandinsky because you can see what he's painting about rather than feeling it? thank god you were not writing reviews 20 or so years ago when the Cocteaus made some of the best music of the 80's - who or what is pearly dew drops drops for instance? who cares? this EP sends shivers down my spine and I love it, all of it - on an emotional level :)

Kyle Wagner posted the following Constructive Criticism: Actually, in reference to my last comment, I just realized that I did make it sound like I meant the lyrics were a happy version of "Space Oddity". I meant that lyrically it is similar to the Bowie song because of the content, but the lyrics are delivered in a much "happier" way. That is my mistake. I wasn't very clear and I apologize, Grant.

Kyle Wagner posted the following Constructive Criticism: I hate to keep 'defending' myself here, but the comments by Grant seem a bit absurd. You should read the review again before spewing vitriol based on emotional response rather than a strict reading of the actual text. Nowhere did I say that the lyrics were happy. I said it "sounds like... a happy version of... 'Space Oddity'." This is a reference to the emotional bent of the song, not the lyrics. Many songs with somewhat depressing lyrics still sound 'happy.' It is possible. In fact, the upbeat feel of the song combined with the less-than-happy lyrics is one of aspects that makes it particularly compelling and effective. In addition, the discussion of cryptic lyrics was intended to refer to the other five songs on the EP. I clearly stated that the first song did not suffer from the pitfalls of the last five songs. I appreciate comments on the review, as I said before, but at least read the review a bit more accurately before you respond.

grant posted the following Constructive Criticism: I'm not entirely sure where the idea of "happy" lyrics comes from with "The Commander Thinks Aloud." The commander in question was named Rick Husband, and you can read more about the event that inspired the song here: http://www.space.com/missionlaunches/sts107_update_030201.html The crew compartment is breaking up. The crew compartment is breaking up. Not happy at all, I'm afraid. I didn't find the song particularly cryptic or arbitrary, but I'm like that -- when you've got a ship leaving a trail of shooting stars while crossing the Tropic of Capricorn, to me, it's clearly talking about a specific thing. - g

Kyle Wagner posted the following Constructive Criticism: As the reviewer, I appreciate all of your comments. I love that you all are passionate about this band and want to defend this EP. Mr. Roberts, you need not feel sorry for me. I require very little spoon-feeding, as some of my other reviews will attest. Actually, I'm willing to wager that there are quite a few bands and albums for which we both share an affinity. This just happens to be an EP that I can't get behind. For me, one measure of a good lyric is if it can strike a balance between being personal and being universal. I don't get much out of inside jokes or personal references unless they resonate on a higher level. You can use hyper-specificity to get to a universal feeling or truth (as Ben Gibbard has been known to do quite frequently), but all too often specific and personal lyrics come across, to me, as blandly confessional, full of self-importance, and/or forced. It is my feeling, after listening to this EP several times, that it falls into this trap more often than not. I listened to the album again after reading the comments here, and even a few weeks later I still find it disappointing, apart from the first track which is fabulous. Again, I appreciate all of your comments here and I welcome any other commentary that you would like to provide. It can only make this review more useful to people who are considering purchasing the album.

Laura Suzanne Aldrich posted the following Constructive Criticism: I suggest spending a little more time with some of J. Ro's other writing in order to be clearer about meaning, but also understand that generally Mister Roderick seems to rely on an audience with a more intuitive grasp on his meaning. However, I will take a moment to clarify that so far as I can tell, "I want to feed you/ butter rum candy/ but someone beat you/ to me" can be unpacked as follows: to feed someone butter rum candy evokes a sense of intimacy between individuals, however, because the speaker belongs "to someone gone before I was born," it is not possible. It is a song about emotional unavailability in the face of what would otherwise be a sweet and endearing relationship; think of it in terms of unrequited love as a universal theme.

Alaina posted the following Constructive Criticism: I found the review very interesting to read as it gives a perspective of someone trying to understand the music for the sake of writing a review instead of unconsciously listening to the EP and by about the third or fourth time have the music all of sudden ring the word 'brilliant'. My bias ears would disagree with the analysis of Ultimatum. I am a sucker for good lyrics and while I would consider Ben Gibbard’s lyrics brilliant I would say the same for John Roderick, though they are brilliant in very different realms and neither out weighing the other. I wouldn't say that Ultimatum is a seamless album, but is it an awesome EP that fits very well together.

Bill Roberts posted the following Constructive Criticism: I feel bad for Mr. Wagner. Seems that music has to be spoon fed to him for it to be either enjoyable or understandable. I agree with Liesbeth - The major attraction to Roderick's lyrics are the fact that they allow the listener to use his/her imagination. For example, Roderick sings "I want to feed you butter run candy, but someone beat you to me." if he wanted to be more BLAND, he could of just sang "I waited around for you, but you were too late" I respect the authors opinion, it just seems that he is the one missing the point, Not the band. Cheers.

Liesbeth Rijnierse posted the following Constructive Criticism: By no means do I claim to be objective, I'm a fan of this band, but I felt I had to respond to the reviewer's point of view on the lyrics. I'm sorry he feels he 'doesn't get it'. To me, that's the attraction: you don't know quite what actual events are hinted at in the lyrics, but somehow if you let your imagination work, the lyrics make a strange sort of sense and you don't even want to know what they mean really. Add to that some wonderful music, and I for one would say that 6 out of 6 is a homerun. I guess ultimately the reader should make up their own mind, and listen to the title track through one of the websites provided.