Ivan Bittertizov fucking hates you
By Ivan Bittertizov
Friday. May 09, 6:14 PM
Grand Ole Party, Keyshia Cole, Another Animal.

Grand Ole Party Humanimals (DH)

Watch Back to the Future II. Get to the part where Biff’s grandma is yelling at him. Remember how fucking irritating said grandma’s voice is. Now take that level of intolerability and set it to porn funk. (grabs shotgun) “Load, aim, shoot.”

Keyshia Cole Just Like You (Geffen)

Thousands of years of injustice overcome, freedom fought and won, the gift of blues, rock ‘n’ roll, and soul bestowed upon the world… and this is what the Black heritage is reduced to in 2007? Clichés that Jodeci wouldn’t use as a cum rag? Robert Johnson is weeping from within his Hell Cell.

Another Animal (Universal Republic)

All I have to tell you is that this is three guys from Godsmack and the singer from Ugly Kid Joe. I’ll let your imagination kill you with hilarity.

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