
Today I'd like to cover a few things from Japan that will most likely stay there. First up is a quirky “eroge” (known here as a hentai game) called Artificial Girl 3. The premise of it is to create a girl (or girls) and dress them up and then… well, do I really need to explain this further? The likelihood of any of this kind of stuff coming to the U.S. is about as good as Jack Thompson being caught playing Grand Theft Auto 4. You can of course find translations for most of these games on the internet... hey, wait, come back, there's still more!
Next up is the return to a classic game that we only just got in the States. Tales of Phantasia has been on the SNES, PSX, and Gameboy, with the latter version being the first to ever grace our shores. But it wasn't as good as the PSX incarnation by far, and was a big let down to the fans who wanted it Stateside since it first came out. To add insult to injury, the best version was released on the PSP with full voice acting and a ton of extras.
Then we have The Idolm@ster for the 360, which was only released in Japan. You play the part of a manager for a fictional company working with prospective fictional pop idols. The odd part about this game is that there is content to download over here in the States, which includes two jets from Ace Combat 6 painted with characters from the game. The game also spawned an anime series where, instead of being singing idols, the characters pilot giant mecha.
Speaking of changing series into total "WTF?" moments, let's take a look at some of the things that Japan deemed worthy enough to localize but in the same breath didn't deem very "Japanese." Let's start off with Spider-Man (Supaida-Man in Japan), who was given a super car and a space ship that transforms into a giant robot called Leopardon. Then we have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who somehow become super heroes (complete with having special attacks that have no less than four words that MUST be yelled when used) who can combine into one being known as Saint Turtle. Then you have Power Puff Girls who has become your typical "Magical Girl" anime series. I'm expecting Scooby Doo: Tactical Crime Fighter X next. I can see it now: cybernectic super-cop Scooby Doo (who for some reason has the head of a dog), and his sidekick marital arts expert Shaggy37, take down the infamous crime lords in Neo-Tokyo. Don't laugh, it could happen.

Ian Wilson